Make New Friends, But Keep the Old...

Yes, I was a girl scout. Just in case anyone is wondering, the rest of that song goes "one is silver and the others gold." It rhymes.

Lately, I have been re-assessing my friendships. It has been a hard thing to do. I have been blessed with amazing friends, and I love them all, but I have also realized that I have changed and grown, and so have some of them, and some of these changes have moved us into different directions. As such, I have had to let go of my idealized visions of what some of these friendships were and accept these relationships for what they are now.

And honestly, having held on to past versions of certain friendships has probably kept me, at times, locked into viewing an image of myself - their image of me - that is part of my former paradigm and not my present. Yet sometimes the draw to what is comfortable has been easier to fall back upon than embracing the challenge to reach out to new people whom I have just met, people who know me for who I am now and with whom I connect now.

That said, I am so, so incredibly fortunate to have some of the most amazing old friendships from elementary school, high school, college and beyond, friendships that will hopefully forever be an integral part of my life. These friendships are with people who have grown and changed too, but with whom I have somehow grown and changed in similar ways and with whom I still connect with on the most real, intimate level. These are people I love unconditionally and whom I would do anything for.

You change and grow, many of your friends change and grow, and after a period of time, letting go of the 100 percent trust you have placed in certain people is necessary in order to clear some emotional space either to become closer with other current friends or to let new people into your life. In that way, I can't see these changes as sad, just as realistic and as allowing me to spend my time and energy with the people who are best suited for me, and vice versa, as we exist now.