Not Just Mundane

OK, so it's been a long time since I've posted anything. Deep thoughts have given way to day to day life. I feel that I've moved into a different place in my mind, so from here on in, perhaps - perhaps is the key word - what I write will be more optimistic, and for a while, perhaps again, more mundane.

But dealing with the mundane and perceiving it in a positive light is exactly what I've had to do recently, so in a way, I will still be writing about what's going through my mind. I have stopped harping on the past; I have stopped being afraid of the future; and the combination of the both is actually huge for me. In order to do so, though, I have had to focus on the now.

So now, I have just finished final exams/projects/presentations, and I have been "going out" more than I had been in the recent past. This is a good thing - it means I feel okay enough about myself to put myself out there, and I know that sounds generric (one of the words I can't spell, along with jewelry, judgement and commitment - there's a 50 50 shot that I get any of those four words correct at any given time) so I guess this is simply a reintroduction to me. I've recently been reintroduced to me.

And yes, finally and again, I really like me. I didn't for a while, or, rather, I didn't like the circumstances I felt were consuming me, or, more accurately, the mind that was ruling me that was consumed by thoughts of circumstances that I allowed to consume me. I would continually ask myself - how could I be so outgoing and happy-go-lucky in the situations I would encouter people, and have the above described reputation, yet feel like absolute shit when I was home, by myself, be it night or day?

What goes on inside my head is powerful. Maybe that's all it is - to have a great feeling about yourself inside of your own head. We're only our own companions for the entirety of our lives; that is the only thing that is guaranteed about this life. So I had to get back to where I felt like I was a good companion for myself.

Lots of things I could, and will, talk about - school, boys, baseball, and what to watch on TV when you're up all night. For now, though, this is just a little, mundane post to get me back into the swing of blogging.

Because finally, I've gotten back into the swing of things in real life.