Slumps

When I don’t write for a while, that likely means I am working through a lot of changes in terms of what’s going on in my mind. Or (and) that I am battling myself to return to a frame of reference inside of myself that I do understand. In a word, it means that I am in a slump.

I’ve had a lot of trouble with the day-to-day aspects of my life lately. I’ve found it hard to deal with waking up, with becoming inspired, with getting myself out of my little apartment. Sometimes I wish that I were forced to just be somewhere every day, to get out of bed, to dress myself in a particular type of clothes, and to be out of the house by some hour. But that’s not what happens in the graduate student world. I don’t have a boss, a manager, telling me to be at this place, in this proper outfit, at this certain time. So I have had to rely on me, and lately, I haven’t been the best person to rely upon. And it has sucked to feel that way.

So when I see someone in a slump like Manny Ramirez (but folks, he’s coming out of it – he hit the ball well and hard yesterday and today, and in this morning’s game he came like two feet short of getting it over the Monster – his hands are moving faster, I think; they seem more connected with the bat), I can’t help but wonder how it feels to have your slumps broadcast and scrutinized by reporters nationwide - of the pen and pad, of the radio, of the television, all over the place. I am a huge fan of Manny, by the way, and as crazy fans do, I feel like I have this secret connection with him, so maybe I have more empathy for him than for other baseball players, but being in a slump – in one word – SUCKS.

The fact that I am writing tonight says something about my coming out of my own inner self. The question remains: what do you need to get out of a slump? Did I need (yes) one person pointing it out to me so directly in order for me to snap out of it – and not that that’s a one day panacea – but it WAS the point of recognition and of subsequent change – for me to see that I was slumping so badly that I needed to make some changes? Maybe Papi or Papa Jack will suggest, or have been suggesting, some changes to Manny’s swing or his approach at the plate, or maybe he’s recognized on his own that he needs to make some changes in order to be the “Manny” being “Manny” we all love (and hopefully, whom he loves too) – but personally, I needed to hear from someone else very important to me that I needed to make changes to my own recent not-so-great approach to life. And thus, I am coming out of my slump.

I would be negligent if I did not mention one more thing right now: Congratulations to Pedro for your 200th win tonight. As someone who’s not scared of anything, you deserve it, and your fearlessness in going at batters, combined with your ridiculous talent, have made you the most dominant pitcher I’ve ever seen and the most entertaining to watch. Thanks for everything you did for the Sox, and for your new Mets fans. You, too, in your unique way, are an inspiring human being.