Responsorial Song, Unsung

You think that you’re the only one who’s afraid?

You say that you’re “terrified” of the time that I will call you and ask you “why didn’t you call me today?” You know what, you’re not terrified of that call; you’re terrified of the reason why you don’t call me that day. You’re terrified of someone else being so close to you that she wants to share the things that you don’t even want to share with yourself. And you’re terrified of sharing those things because you haven’t yet believed that those things are okay for someone else to hear. But guess what, kid, I already know what's going on inside of you, and I love you all the more for it.

I’m “dangerous”? You’re dangerous to me, too, my dear. But I see what’s on the other side of crossing that dangerous line, and it’s fucking beautiful.

“Because you live in New York and I’m moving across the country," you say. That’s why I’m dangerous? Because situations act on you versus your acting on situations? The relevance here is truly lost to me.

You’re “madly in love with me”? Show it. Respect my feelings. Don’t just know my feelings, because I know that you do, but act like you care about them. And don't fucking treat me like I don't know what I'm talking about, because you know that I do.

You have strength in the areas that scare the shit out of me, and I have strength in the areas that scare the shit out of you. Embrace this. It doesn’t happen very often, if ever.

Do you know that I get the way things run through your mind, emotionally, at least? Yes, you do know this, and maybe that's the reason that you’re terrified. Paradoxically, the very way that your mind works is one reason I love you so much.

And fuck you for saying that I don’t love you as much as you love me, but, hey, you’ve always said that – you’ve chosen to say that. And then I've always said - chosen to say - what you want to hear in response to that. But guess what, kid, if you say something enough, eventually you’ll internalize it, you'll believe it. Even though deep down inside you know it's not true. And maybe one day I'll actually believe it too - would that make it easier for you?

And one more thing: the way you “handle me” is really the way you handle yourself.