Another Saturday Night And...

I just finished a heck of a lot of reading for school. The way in which I go about my school assignments is funny – it kind of runs parallel to the fact that, except for the very last hours before something is due and for some reason my apartment looks like Dorothy Gale from Kansas’s tornado came through here – I do all of the “little” things first. So for those few days preceding any major due date, Monica Gellar would even be proud of the condition of my tiny home. Is it procrastination? Or is it the fact that I feel weird when a major project is due and it’s done early because I have to finish up some “minor” things, all the while feeling like I should be perfecting that major thing?

I’ll take what’s behind Door B, thank you.

I had a hard day today. It’s better now, sure, now that I’ve woken up (at 2 pm), had coffee, eaten (a little) and, most importantly, the cramps that had caused me to round my body up into my bed for the past two days have somewhat abated. No, I cannot take too much Advil, because it makes me puke, and more than most people in this world, I hate to puke (that, plus an uncanny inability to black out, have caused some of my more intoxicated evenings to be more painful than they need be – especially in the mornings when I awake not only feeling like my stomach is in the process of eating its own lining but sporadically flashing back to painfully accurate depictions of what I’ve done.)

I am wondering about fate these days. I am wondering about souls touching. I am wondering about catching a little piece of someone else’s soul and then being entirely unable to let it go because it’s touched your own soul and that’s what a soul is, something so light, so airy but so actually who you are that once it’s touched with someone else’s soul they’re connected forever. I am wondering if souls are like the snowflakes falling outside of my New York City window right now, most of them landing on the ground alone in one mass pile that will melt or coagulate or be forced together by morning, on impact, actually, but if there are a few, lucky (or damned) flakes that will meet in midair and no matter what be joined forever, in their life spans, to await whatever fate will befall them once they hit the ground. Together.