Oh My - I Have "Rules" Too

I met the cutest boy a few weeks ago. And, invoking my friend B’s specialty, I made out with him outside of the bar in which I met him. And, of course, I ran into him again this weekend at the same bar. At some point afterwards it occurred to me that he was born in – late – 1981. Considering this, I’m figuring I left high school about 5-6 years before he did - which means he was in middle school or, oh no, elementary school. But, in the fashion of other bloggers (whom I’m guessing adopted this trend from early episodes of Sex and the City), the boy must have a name. So he is clearly "1981 boy". Maybe he’ll be the topic of another entry, and maybe he won’t. The important thing here is that last night when I called him (back) for the first time, I realized I have always inadvertently followed certain personal, definitive rules when I call (or call back) a boy for the first time. Here is my attempt to put them into writing:

1) Never be absolutely sober. This means that the call itself plays an integral role in the entire night. Not only does the time of the call need to be planned in order to allow for the perfect amount of buzzed-but-not-so-drunk-it’s-evident-ness, but any activities following the call can’t necessitate being sober. The night is the call.

2) Never be entirely wasted either. Reasons for this should be obvious.

3) Always straighten hair and put on makeup and cute outfit. Look good, feel good, sound good – I entirely believe in that. Sometimes I sit in my favorite bra in front of the mirror to feel hotter while talking. They say someone can tell if you’re smiling when you’re talking on the phone, so… isn’t this a natural extension of that theory?

4) Always work out beforehand. Endorphins = feel good. Also, I have this strange idea that if I let some of myself out into the world that day (by burning things off), I’ll have more space to take newness in. If it’s impossible to work out, then workout clothes can be substituted for the above-mentioned cute outfit. Sort of like the Pavlovian theory – in such clothes, I think I’ve worked out and therefore the endorphins will flow. Workout clothes are always still accompanied by hair in a (cute, generally to-the-side) ponytail and yes, light makeup - I mean, some artistic license is necessary.

5) Always have a fairly interesting story about what I did that day. Even if it incorporates aspects of what I did yesterday, it doesn't matter - as long as the rendition is waterproof.

6) Never talk too much. I can talk to a clock or a light. I want to know what he really thinks - so I don't want to unconsciously lead anyone into a certain way of speaking or type of conversation that's not actually indicative of the way he is. Because eventually, if I do end up dating someone, I want to learn a lot from him. That’s pretty much how I feel about all of my friends and this is no different – it’s just a more intense approach to a potentially more intense situation.

So I’m hanging out with 1981 boy Thursday night. More to come – maybe.